Good news on the diet front.  I am down 2.2 pounds and K is down .6!  I am so happy about that.  Steady and sure wins the race.  No punishments for anything this week.

I have been thinking about exercise lately.  Since I stopped working I am not constantly moving anymore.  I’ve had some ideas but I am the kind of person that doesn’t like other people to know what I am doing when I am doing it.  So, even though I bought some Dancing with the Stars dvds I haven’t used them yet because my daughter is always here and she might see me!  We have a nice sized flight of stairs in our house leading to the basement and I have thought about just going up and down those when ever the thought occurs to me, if I do that 20 times a day more than I do already that would add over 500 extra steps a day.  Then there is always the possibility of  becoming a mall walker.  But those are all old people so I would look funny!  Ah well, I will just “keep pondering until my ponderer is sore” in the words of the great Winnie the Pooh, at least I think it was Winnie, maybe it was Tigger.

I hope you guys are all doing well, keeping warm and all that.

Today was weigh in day.  We’ve changed our weigh ins to Monday because after all the holiday hoopla that is what worked out the best.  The good news is I was down 1 pound and K was down .8 pound.   So no punishments on either side, for that.

The bad news is, with me being off of work it is a lot harder to resist the snacks. I get bored or sick of what I am doing so I search for nibbles.  Fortunately we are to the point now where all the holiday goodies have been eaten or disposed of and I refuse to buy anything that will sabotage me.   Unfortunately, I have a punishment coming for eating fried walnuts until I thought I would throw up.  I knew what I was doing, in theory, but I just couldn’t stop myself.  I rationalized it by telling myself that if I ate them all then they would be gone and not tempting me any longer.  What makes us do these crazy things?  It’s not like I didn’t know doing it would get me spanked.  It isn’t a new rule or an unreasonable one.

K does not like it when I do stuff like that to myself, and who can blame him.  He doesn’t like to see me miserable, even if it is my own fault.  Of course, he has no problems with causing a different kind of misery for the sake of a lesson learned!  So, within the next day or two I will probably be feeling sorry for myself with a very sore bottom, blaming it all on my mother and her evil walnuts.

BTW: this is totally off topic but I updated my blog roll today and removed all the “dead” links.  Some of the blogs have disappeared or been removed by the author or some have gone private.  If you see your blog was removed from our list but maybe the link was just bad or you moved or something else, just e-mail us at livingdd08@gmail.com and I will fix it.

When we started ttwd, I had no idea it would be so much work.  I mean, really, a spanking every now and again and that should do it.  (Don’t laugh so loud, I can hear you!)  Kids, work, life in general, conspire to make this as difficult as possible.  I earn a spanking, K wants to give said spanking but the darn kids refuse to go to bed at an hour that would make a bed time punishment feasible.  So, we think, ok it will happen in the morning before K has to go to work.  He leaves for work at 6:15, that means we would have to get up by 5 for him to have time to punish with any intensity, and have even a few minutes time for cuddling and reconnection.  Sounds easy but in reality, getting up that early is darn hard!  We have yet to do it in fact.  So punishment gets pushed farther and farther away from the actual misdeed to the point where it seems silly (to me) to be punished at all.  It isn’t that the desire to follow through is missing.    Punishment is a reasonable expectation (him expecting to give it and me expecting to receive it) after breaking any rule.  The rules we have aren’t frivolous after all, they are in place for a reason.   And, it isn’t like we have a ton of rules that I am always breaking.

In an ideal world, we would have a house with a sound proof room that would allow punishments, arguments, crazy sex and other loud activities to happen whenever the whim or need came upon us.  In our real world, we live in a tiny 50 year old ranch house with paper thin walls and our bedroom is sandwiched between both of the boys bedrooms.  So, punishments have to stack up and be taken care of when the opportunity home alone presents itself, which is rare right now.  It will be easier in a few weeks when our daughter moves in with her fiance’.  Then we will have K’s days off every week (as long as they aren’t on the weekends) to take care of business, because the other kids will be in school.  But then there is summer vacation . . .

And then there is the emotional work involved in ttwd.  To do this and do it well, barriers have to come down.  I have always been emotionally closed but that doesn’t work in a DD relationship.  I have to be willing to let K into all aspects of my life, even those I consider too personal to share.  When he asks me a question he has the right to an honest answer no matter how emotionally vulnerable it makes me.  And the same goes in reverse.   We both have  the right to a partner that is 100 percent invested in the other and the marriage and that is work!  It means being able to put aside petty hurts for the health of the marriage.  It means not holding a grudge because it is easier than letting it go.  I’m working on that.

Let us not forget the physical part of ttwd.  That is work too.  It is hard work to give a proper spanking and as hard of work to take one with grace.  It is hard work to wait up for a husband who would like to “connect” when he gets home from work at 11:30 p.m and you turn into a pumpkin at 9:00 p.m.  (even though it is always so worth it in the long run, I really don’t mind, it is just hard sometimes.)  It is hard work to hold his hand when all you want to do is kick him in the shins because he is annoying the hell out of you.  But you hold his hand anyway and in 5 minutes you’ve forgotten why you wanted to kick him in the shins and are cuddling up as close as you can to the big strong man who has the capacity (and the desire) to tame you with a look.

It isn’t easy, it probably won’t ever be easy, even when all the kids are gone and it is just the two of us rambling around in the house.  But, the good news is, we are in this together.  The hard work is both of ours but the rewards belong to us both as well.

OMG, the holidays were crazy, I quit my job and my son left for the army!!!

I worked retail and loved it but I worked 40 hours a week making minimum wage with a BA!  I asked them to pay me more and they said “sorry, no can do” so I said “see ya”.  K prefers for me to be home anyway, but would never say I couldn’t work if that is what I wanted.  It was just that I made so little- he makes in 2 shifts of OT what I made in 2 weeks of working (that is just sad)- it was so not worth the stress of having us both gone so much.  January 2nd was my last day.  I refused to abandon them during the major holiday ad sets, but let me tell you, being at work at 4a.m really tests your resolve to do the right thing.

Our eldest son left for basic training last Monday. I have yet to hear from him so I have not been able to write him or anything.  It is killing me!  (I have a letter all ready to go when I do get an address!)  K and I went to watch his swearing in and I did a good job of not breaking down until I made it to the privacy of the public bathroom.  I am so proud of him but my heart broke to let him go.  There was a psycho lady there watching her son.  OMG!  The whole time she was saying things like “if anything happens to my son I will kill them all” “I don’t understand why they join when no one is making them” and on and on.  The man who was with her kept shushing her and she turned on him and said ” what, I can’t have an opinion?” and he said, “NO!”  I wanted to applaud him!  I am sure her son joined to get away from her!

There has been absolutely no spanking here for over a month!! Zip, zilch, nada!!! Our daughter is with us until her fiance’ comes to get her when he gets back from Iraq.  Hopefully that is in a few weeks.  But, as of right now, she is here all the time so there is no privacy to deal with anything of a “loud” nature.

On a brighter note, my daughter and I bought her wedding dress yesterday.  A couple of times a year the local bridal shop sells the “try ons” for $99.  So we were able to buy her the most beautiful dress that retails here for $699 for only $99.  That gives us $600 more to spend on booze or food (in my logical mind, anyway). I vote for booze but that’s just me!

We had our first real weigh in after the holidays on Monday.  We both had gained a few pounds over the holidays but managed to lose a little last week. Not much but enough to keep us both out of trouble!  I have been slowly working on throwing out the last of the goodies but it is hard when it is something you especially love and know you won’t see again until next Christmas.

It is going to take me ages to catch up on all the blog reading I’ve missed.  If I don’t comment on what you’ve written it isn’t because I don’t appreciate you!  Take care, thanks for being such loyal friends, I hope our absence hasn’t sent you searching elsewhere for good reading.

Hello everyone, just a quick note to let you know we are not dead!  I work in retail so, as you can imagine, my days are very hectic right now and leave little to no time for computers. K is working a ton too (gotta pay for Christmas!) so he hasn’t had any time to get on here either.

Since we have two adult children living with us temporarily there has not been much spanking going on, discipline or fun.  We had one day  over a week ago where we had a couple of hours with no one here but us and K did use that time to address some respect issues.

Our eldest son leaves for Army basic training on January 4th.  We are so proud of him but it is going to be so hard to have him gone.  We also have a daughter engaged to be married to an Army soldier.  He is in Iraq right now and will hopefully be home within a couple of months.  When he comes home they are moving to El Paso to live together until they get married in November.  They are just babies but you know how that is, you can’t tell them anything.  Her response is,”mom you were the same age when you got married and look how that turned out! “  Dang, I hate when they throw my successes in my face!

I have given work my notice.  I have been there for over a year with no raise or promotion.  I am a minimum wage slave with a college degree, that sucks!  I have told them I will stay if they give me a $3/hour raise, at the least.  I work really hard there and love my job but it isn’t worth what they pay me.  I can’t justify being away from home and my kids for that little money.  I really want to stay so I hope they come through.

I hope you all are managing to stay sane during this busy season.

May your holidays be blessed with good family and friends.  May you receive all those things that truly bring joy to your lives.

This was a much better week, diet wise.  I am down  about 3 pounds and have only 1/2 pound to lose to get back to my pre Florida weight.  K lost too but he has a bit more to go to get back to his pre Florida, pre deer camp weight.  I got my spanking for gaining, not too harsh but not a walk in the park either.  Mostly it was just to refocus me on my goals.  K has to refit the laundry room pantry for his punishment job.  I need more shelves and the ones that are there shored up.  I need it better organized and more accessible.  I can’t wait!  It isn’t too bad of a job but it will definitely cut into his tv/game time.

Have a good week everyone, we are expecting 9-12 inches of snow between Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning so I need to get to the store and make sure we are well stocked in case it really happens.  That is prime Christmas cookie baking time!

We both gained weight this week so we both have consequences.  K has to do a horrible job of my choosing and I get spanked.  I haven’t picked the job for him yet.  I don’t want to be spanked but I did ask for this and I am grateful that he is holding me accountable.  I know for some this seems harsh but I don’t ever want to be a size 22 again and it would be too easy to end up back there.  I am so thankful that K is willing to do the hard job and hold me accountable for this.  (Of course when I can’t sit comfortably I might change my mind!)  This is tough on both of us.  Tough for him because he has to be the hard ass and tough for me because I get punished for what is normal for most people (gaining weight on a holiday).  However, I refuse to give back all my hard earned weight loss!!!  Complacency is the enemy here and it will not be tolerated by either of us.  So, please don’t think badly of K, I asked for this and I need him to be strict and hold me to the rules we set.  It was all my idea in the first place.  I can’t give up now!

Happy Thanksgiving one and all (who celebrate!).  Enjoy the day, the food and the time with family.   I count each of you as a blessing, thanks for all the support and encouragement you have given us as we walk this path.

I lost another of the 7 pounds I gained on vacation. I have 3 1/2 left.  Geez, it is much harder to take off than put on!  I really want to be a size 8 by next summer so I need to keep focused on the goal.  I am a slightly loose 12 or very tight 10 right now.   Once I get there I will have gone from a size 22-at my biggest; I had already lost a little of that before I started the spanking diet and was down to an 18/20.  Wow!

The holidays should be manageable because I will be working so much I won’t have time to nibble.  My job involves a lot of walking too so that should help keep me on track.  The rule is no gain and K hasn’t said yet if he is going to hold me to that for the holidays.  Part of me wants him to keep me to it and the other part wants him to say “aww, it is the holidays, just go for it!”  That’s the part that loves Christmas cookies!  Of course when I am in a sugar coma and feeling sick and sorry for myself I will wish he had kept me on the diet . . .  Can’t win for losing.

Have a great week, it is a mad, crazy work week for me (I work retail) so if I don’t have time to get back on here, have a wonderful Thanksgiving all you Americans!  May you (regardless of nationality) be truly blessed by the abundance that surrounds you.

Wednesday was the one year anniversary of my first punishment as a disciplined wife.  It really is amazing how much our relationship has grown in that time.  I think back to how I was before, always sniping, criticizing, complaining-it wasn’t pretty!  Now, I still get crabby but I have more self- control.  I think about what the consequences are going to be and usually decide that what I am crabby about is not important enough to give it that kind of power over me.  (The power to earn me a spanking.)

What else has changed?  The kids see two happily married people who can’t keep their hands off of each other-much to their dismay!  We have gone from being intimate maybe once a week, if we were lucky, to almost every day.  I hope our kids look at us and think that they would like to have a marriage like ours.

I have gone from thinking I have to take care of myself because no one else will to knowing that I can rely on K to take care of all my needs, whether I am willing to admit to them or not.  Which, as you submissive partners know, what we need is not always what we want (at least not in the moment).

I have learned how to express myself respectfully when I disagree with K.  That is big!  Of course, having learned it doesn’t mean I always do it but I do try!

I have made some wonderful online friends in this year as well.  It is great to “talk” to like-minded people who understand exactly what I mean when I say . . . “damn, I am so in trouble now!”

Having said all that, it has only been a year and we have so much more growth ahead of us.  We are still in the let’s try this and see how it works stage.  We have given up some things and added others, we no longer do scheduled maintenance but it is still regular.  Scheduled wasn’t working because of my weird work hours.  We are still working on finding quiet implements for discipline (if anyone has ideas feel free to share!).

Here are some of my “wishes” for the next year.  I would like to try different positions for spanking, right now we just do over the end of the bed.  Our bed is too high for OTK and we have no room for a chair in our bedroom.  I would also like to be even more under K’s control, not in the BDSM way, but with him having higher expectations for me meeting his needs on a daily basis, things that would make his life easier and his role of HOH more obvious.  Does that make sense?  He doesn’t believe in micro-managing, and I don’t really mean that, but I would like him to have some higher/consistent standards for how he expects me to make his day better if only because he is the HOH and deserves it.

This lifestyle is an exciting  journey, I only wish we would have started it much earlier in our marriage.